Published on: 2023-01-11
Have you ever shared something you’re proud of – maybe a recent achievement, a small win at work, or a personal milestone – only to be met with silence or dismissal?
They nod briefly, change the subject, or worse, they start talking about something they did instead. You walk away feeling as if your joy was invalid, your success overshadowed.
💡 What’s Really Happening?
When someone finds “none of you” in the discussion, meaning they show no interest in your story or subtly dismiss it, it often stems from an internal response:
“This person’s achievement makes me feel small. I need to re-establish my worth.”
Instead of sharing your happiness, they focus on outdoing you, consciously or unconsciously. This is not always malicious – it can be a self-protection reflex to feel competent, smart, or significant.
🔎 Why Do People Do This?
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Comparison is automatic.
The brain instinctively measures itself against others to assess social standing. -
They fear irrelevance.
Your achievement reminds them of their own inaction or lack of progress. -
They want to control the narrative.
By redirecting the discussion to themselves, they regain a sense of importance.
🗣️ How Should You Respond?
✅ Understand it’s not about you.
Their reaction reflects their internal struggle, not your worth.
✅ Maintain calm confidence.
Don’t downplay your achievement to comfort them, but don’t escalate it into competition either.
✅ Shift gracefully.
If you sense discomfort, acknowledge their story but keep your boundaries firm. For example:
“That’s great. For me, I just really feel happy to finally finish this certification I worked hard for.”
✅ Choose your audience.
Not everyone can celebrate with you. Share milestones with those who can genuinely say, “I’m happy for you.”
✨ Final Thought
When someone cannot handle your light, it doesn’t mean you have to dim it.
People who always seek to “better you” in conversations often reveal their insecurities. Recognize it with empathy, but remember: Your achievements remain real, meaningful, and worth celebrating, whether others acknowledge them or not.